"I Am Rooted" Watercolor Art from the Cosmic Philosophy Collection by Srimati
Recently, I had a stranger tell me that my unyielding to being gaslit and holding myself in my boundaries was a power grab. He said I was power hungry and trying to aquire power over another person by asserting myself *in my own experience of my life*.
A powerful woman can terrify people into wanting to gaslight and shame her back into submission. It is not power grabbing to assert yourself and speak your truth and boundaries firmly and directly. It is actually quite the opposite; it is, rather, not throwing your power away. It is holding your power, that which belongs to you, in the center of your being and letting it reach to the very edge of where you end and the other begins. The other may run into your power and know they have hit something that doesn't belong to them and will either accept that and honor it, or attempt to harvest it. Our job and response-ability is to not let them harvest it.
In the moment of being gaslit, I realized the irony that this person was attempting to manipulate me into believing that my unyielding to ignorance and control could ever be a power grab for myself. He was accusing me of the very thing he was doing. He was attempting to get me to throw my power away to his definition of me.
Unyielding to gaslighting is not a thirst for power, but rather is standing in your own power and not handing it away to someone else, where you become endangered of losing a piece of yourself (soul loss) and becoming entangled by believing them. This is some of the most subtle manipulation we can come across and is also very dangerous because these microaggressions are where it is the easiest to throw ourselves away. I knew this person did not want to see me here, so I left the discussion and honored myself by not giving this person any more fuel and by not internalizing his words or outsourcing my power to him.
These are good, healthy boundaries. Sometimes this is what we need to be the most loving. Knowing we cannot reach understanding with another and leaving the conversation to preserve ourselves and keep ourselves intact. Yielding to self-love over ignorance and the misunderstanding of another fallible human (because all of us are fallible).