Updated: Oct 15
Art from the Coloring Book "The Potent Woman" by Srimati
Part of deconstructing the patriarchy within myself as a woman has been to understand that what I am doing inherently as woman is not masculine. There is no both a masculine and a feminine inside of me. It's all woman. My hormones and everything. There is no set conduct for that. It's whatever spirit wants me to do today...however spirit wants to express through me in any given moment. Including when I stand up for myself and hold my self worth with nobility and honor. It's feminine because I, feminine, am doing it.
This realization is so phenomenal that it immediately removes so much bullshit from the whole polarity equation. There's no shoulds or one size fits all here. It's simple, eloquent, and simultaneously wild. It's me...without constantly dissecting my behavior and reality testing if it's true to being a woman or "feminine". Femininity is not about being whispy thin, playing dress up, or fawning all over others submissively.
We have this problem in society with a control/submit dynamic where when women or men do something deemed out of character for their sex/gender, others will immediately label it and use this labeling as a way to control behavior. If you're a woman and you get defensive, you're in your masculine. This kind of language sets a person up to fail. Our inner voice and spirit will not allow us to be continuously stifled and if we choose to change our behavior to suit others, we stifle ourselves. We end up essentially being at war with parts of our self, where we quite literally become in danger of losing our self to soul loss.
I have gotten caught in this trap many times before and lost sight of myself. The worst is possibly the way it polarizes us away from a holistic, internal understanding of who we feel ourselves to be. By defining traits as either masculine or feminine, we lose sight of what we truly, intrinsically are. And we allow others definitions of that to define us. This is how we lose our power.
I am all, 100%, woman. And I never let another person forget that when they attempt to cage me in a box with it. I have been told this is opposition, being fearful, being aggressive, defensive and masculine. People have so many ideas about what it is without ever stopping to consider that all that matters is what it is for me. For me, yes I will stand and defend my sovereignty and power. It is not an inconvenience, masculine, or stressful to stand powerfully in myself. I am not being aggressive or starting an unecessary fight. I'm standing in my power and making correction when someone wants to handle me some way and attempt to break my sovereignty and siphon my power so that I will submit to their version of what I ought to be. I say no, it's not going to work. But nice try.
*A note about this article: It is not lost to me that in much of my writing I am discussing deeper nuances with women and our connection to Divine Feminine and matriarchy and our relationships to one another. These discussions are not meant to cage the Feminine and what she is, but rather my own personal insights and awarenesses and if any part of it doesn't fit, I am not saying it is the only way. It is a way and it is a way that was revealed to me, but it is most certainly not a one size fits all. So where this occurs, please do not take it as me putting you in a box as a woman. Adapt and adopt whatever fits right for you as you understand and we can enjoy the alignment there. I am all about sovereignty and choice, never power and control over. Let it be free in the understanding without needing to anchor it down and cage it.