The Importance of Feeling Fluidity and Witnessing in Women

"Flowing with the Moon and the Earth" Watercolor by Srimati, from the Cover of "My Moon Mood Journal"

If you read my article "Communication in Male/Female Relationships," you may have recalled that I mentioned an important biological function women have when they experience stressful stimuli called "tend and befriend".

Stressful stimulus causes a woman to produce cortisol and oxytocin. The release of oxytocin and her more active neural network means she is hard-wired to process and talk about her feelings when she experiences stress or intense, primal feelings.

Because of this, women have an innate need to be witnessed. They are performing a mechanism that is a part of a macro, metaphysical truth that is simultaneously biologically wired into her that tells her to share her feelings with herself and others.

The metaphysical aspect of this is in relation to the Divine Feminine, which has many facets, one of which IS feeling itself. In the Heavens, it is her being that permeates the space and that being is called Prema, which is an intensely felt love and desire for God, her Masculine aspect. Some call this the joy rendering power or the Holy Spirit and Comforter. She is comfort, because her Divine Feminine state of desire is the desire to comfort AND she is also comfort itself. This is her power and domain.

As women, we embody this nurturing aspect, which from a strictly human standpoint is experienced with neutrality until it is alchemized in the wholeness of communion. This communion occurs through wholesome relationships and activates and initiates our nurturing qualities. It causes hormones to secret and results in deeper bonds being formed (oxytocin being the hormone). This makes us feel good and comforted, and we in turn express in more nurturing ways.

When a woman, on the other hand, experiences hardship and stress such that she becomes vulnerable (women are more likely than men to experience stress and trauma and prolonged effects of trauma such as body pain, nervous system dysfunction, immune system dysfunction, hormonal disruption, etc.), there is a probability that her emotional state will express in dysfunction and she will experience mental illness and/or hardened emotions. Her heart hardens and she is cut off from her feelings and her connective, feel-good states. This results from biofeedback between her state of mind and her body reaction. Her stress hormones are elevated, she is anxious and fearful, but due to needing to protect herself, she represses her fearful emotional state and hardens herself to numb her emotions, not just the fearful and unpleasant ones. This biofeedback is still occurring nonetheless. She isn't producing the oxytocin she needs to be happy and connected and her relationships suffer as a result, creating further hormonal disruption. Her cortisol levels rise and her endocrine system becomes disrupted.

She is suppressed, repressed, oppressed. She cannot feel herself. Her body falls out of balance as a result.

When a woman deepens her feeling connection and states, she learns to understand herself and her feelings. She witnesses herself and her needs and is able to respond to them accordingly. Rather than repress herself and tough it out at the cost of built-up resentment and self-bullying, she is able to both give to herself and ask for what she needs.

We've all seen that woman who is somehow magical and magnetic. Everyone responds to her and she is the center of attention. She is simultaneously sweet, nurturing, and giving. We may have feelings toward this woman because we feel we can't be her.

But the truth is, we can and do have a birthright to this state of Divine Feminine expression, responsiveness, and magnetism. It truly has to do with our own ability to feel ourselves and to ask for what we need, or give it to ourselves without shame. It has to do with the way we are coming into ourselves and HOW we are treating ourselves, our feelings, and our tender sensitivity.

A well-cared-for woman becomes highly magnetic. This isn't about her beauty, although radiance is something that naturally results from being taken care of, it is actually about her state of mind and emotional state, which is far more important than her physical appearance and is what determines her magnetism.

A woman who is joyful and permeated in her own innate comfort and emotional fluidity, who is resilient, understands what she needs, and gives to herself/receives from others from that space of comfort and wellness will naturally be highly attractive and enjoyable to be around.

It can be easy to look at such a woman and make judgments of her. We may even say she is spoiled and not living in reality. We may call it luck and chalk off her happiness with life to a fortunate birth.

I have met women who have walked through Hell and ended up in this state as a matter of being. These women recognized that THIS was the pathway to healing their trauma.

It doesn't matter where you've come from, what your background is, or even what other women have gone through and are going through, this pathway is available for all women and offers profound healing to her that leads to her joy and comfort rather than to her depletion by her burdening herself with others emotional states and troubles.

Women are not meant to take on the burdens of the world. I don't even think we are meant to shoulder our own burdens. We are designed to be communal, interdependent, creative, comforting, feeling vessels and if we are cut off from a solid support system and our creativity, comfort, and feeling, we cannot be what Goddess designed us to be. We are denied access to our most pleasurable and joyful Self and we do it at the excuse that others are suffering.

Goddess does not want us to suffer on behalf of others, but rather be bridges and guides to teach others how to take personal responsibility and heal and embody spiritual power through our example as embodied Divine Feminine expression. The power I am talking about is the creative power; the power of wisdom; the power of mercy, grace and compassion; and the joy permeating power/comforting of the holy spirit and of holy communion, which is called Radha.

These powers are a result of a woman standing firmly in her own potency and sense of self rooted to her love for God (Divine Union). She is not usurped in her understanding of herself by other's emotions, experiences, or troubles. Instead, she is a compassionate, merciful, fountain of wisdom and creativity, and is enlightened by her joy-filled love for God. This enables her to be a light in the world. It enables her to be resilient in the face of adversity.

This state relies on a woman becoming deeply intimate with her feeling state. It relies on her being compassionate with herself and coming to a place of acceptance and fluidity with her vast rainbow of feelings and vacillating nature. Her sensitivity to feeling is not actually a hindrance or a problem. It's a superpower and one that as she deepens into in maturity and self-witnessing, she is able to more deeply integrate and transform with.

Consider that holy communion is based on the concept of being witnessed by God. This is not merely about confession and letting God see you (because God knows you more than you know yourself) it is done so as a service to you. Communion and holy witnessing (what some call confession, although I don't use that terminology) results in the bestowing of wholesomeness and correction. You are able to see yourself and, in that moment with God as your witness, you are able to experience clarity of right and wrong. You are corrected. God grants you an understanding of where your thinking and acting are distorted or corrupted. You are shown the wholesome understanding and way to make things right. You are corrected and bestowed a wholesome understanding of your Self.

This is a surrender process that results in profound transformation and deepening trust and bond between self and deity.

But arriving at this state of witnessing must come with a mature experience of the feeling state where you can experience the waves of emotion and feeling and simultaneously let yourself be witnessed in them, where God shines a light on them and their revelation.

In my journal, My Moon Mood Journal, I teach a woman how to deepen into her feeling state naturally through a process called feeling alchemy. I highly recommend using this journal as a starting point for this process.

© 2020 by Srimati Arya Moon

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